it's 4 am, i'm drinkin beer and re-drywalling my bathroom. this could possibly be a bad idea.
meet me or not, i'm out of control
Dude I'm drinking a martini out of a water bottle, I've become my parents.
So I was blaaazed. & while he was in me all I kept thinking was how bad I'd rather be watching The Office.
Apparently shes in the bathroom puking but eating a pot roast she found in the fridge at the same time.
I had a pretty decent weekend -- aside from dropping the baby on her head. That.. That I feel bad about.
We stopped her at 12
12 shots? Or 12 midnight?
Which answer would freak you out less
i don't know where i am. i made bad decisions. i think this guy is dead.
He tried to bang a 300 pounder last night. No joke. I shotgunned a tall boy in a bar cuz the bartender didn't crack the beer. Cant wait till Nashville.
he's drinking beer at home in his underwear tonight and if you want to come over the dresscode is underwear only. And you have to bring beer.
When we do our power hour over Skype I'm just going to sit on the toilet so that way I won't have to get up in the middle of it and miss any shots
Had a turkey baster with clean pee in it in my pants to pass a drug test, and the bottom fell off, so yeah I'm pretty pissed.
omg sorry but i tried to stop you when you were at your drunk limit but i took my eyes off you for like 2 seconds and you suddenly appeared with hard liquor in both hands for yourself and downed them and it was downhill from there
As we were walking to her place she stole a pizza from the delivery guy's car and when we got home she grabbed a slice, two beers, removed her pants, and said "call of duty?" im going to marry her
If they start to date again I refuse to help her sext him. Helping my mom sext my dad is where I draw the line.
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