Dating is not our generation's strong point. We're an era that's good at getting laid.
I just drove by a church. On the sign out front was written 'crocodile cock'. On both sides.
You kept telling the cops that our ice luge was practice for the next winter olympics
I just couldn't help myself when there was a FOUNTAIN OF SHOTS
he grabbed my head and said "you are a horse. I am leading you to water" pushed it down and whispered "Drink."
I left you pizza on the porch. I didn't want to wake you, if you were passed out on the bathroom floor again. Sorry if it's cold.
If you come, call before you come in. I'm tanning my balls. Enjoy that visual.
Everyone else in class agrees the weed smell is coming from me
FYI, announcing your arrival at jail with "Hi,yes, I'm checking in? I believe I've reserved a bed, a 2 night stay this weekend?" is, in fact, frowned upon
Dude that chick had a dog in her car. Like when she goes bar hoping so does roofus. He gaurds the car.
How do we stop her downward spiral?
Wine. For us.
I feel like I was playing penis roulette last night nd I landed on the wrong one.
Just had sex in the room next to my parents. Heading back to school ASAP.
How is it possible for someone who gets so many dick picks sent to her, to be experiencing such a complete and utter lack of dick IRL.
I POOPED CONFETTI TOO. Ingested unacceptable amount of it oh my god can I die from this?
Randomize
