You sent me a text calling me "cunt" while i was in the middle of dumping my bf.
So we're fucking tonight?
i dont think duct tape can fix my g spot
lets call myth busters
she crawled under her car and passed out. Unfortunately her feet were sticking out and someone called 911 because they thought she had been run over.
oh dear god, that would be like watching to female walruses mate. We need to stop going to that lesbian bar...
The last thing I remember is sitting in a chair and him hand feeding me bell peppers
Dude, she sent me a nude of her posing in the mirror and her dad was in the reflection
Is tonight a drink a little and reminisce kinda night, or a drink everything and pray kinda night?
I'M MAKING HIKING PLANS WITH THE GIRL WHO IS DATING MY EX, THAT IS PERSONAL FUCKING GROWTH
I need to see you idiots before I go back to school. But we shouldn't snort Crown Royal this time.
You can't do wine Netflix and blow jobs in the bed you've had since 5th grade with your parents downstairs
I just saw someone dressed as a bear leave your house on a motorcycle. I guess you guys are having a good time.
I am high playing guitar hero naked. Please don't let me die this way
We need to catch up immediately. I took ecstasy and made out with carrot face this weekend.
People probably think I’m a fangirl bc I go to so many shows but it’s really bc I like fucking the tour manager
The air taste purple.
Randomize
