i'm going to rape that little man
omg not your brother
I woke up (not at home) to find out I kissed Ryan Caberra, flashed for free gumbys and carried around an inflatable moose named Johnson. Great success.
they just dont make restraining orders like they used to.
There's an australian, my relationship has no hope.
130 PACKAGES of glow sticks! The going rate of a rave is $38.30! GET READY FOR THE GLORGY!!!!!!!!!!!!
i was gonna do a lot worse than just throw cat food on you while you were passed out, but then you sleep vomited and i felt a little bad
this is why ugly people need low self esteem. it stops them from doing shit like this.
She has a boyfriend. But if he's a decent human being he understands blowjobs don't count as cheating with her. Keeping those miracles to himself is a crime against humanity.
how sketchy is it to eat a candy wrapped in masking tape from reggae night? because we totally just split it...
I think I'm a wingman for every guy who bangs a girl I scarred in highschool.
I can't even properly respond cuz I'm ballsdeep in falafel
Have you ever just like not slept in so long that everything looks like a lava lamp?
I want to share a beverage of the alcoholic category with you, but I'm conflicted about getting out from under my covers.
Of course I fucked him. He was wearing a rainbow cock sock and cowboy boots.
I just borrowed porn from my middle aged mother. This is what desperate looks like.
Randomize
