i think my tv is drunk
do all gilrs hav hair on thier vagaina ?
Don't drive home.
Omg just saw this kid I went to elementary school with at the bar and he used to be cool and I was so awkward but now I have boobs so I WIN.
Yah, I definitely wouldn't wanna be fingered with a fake arm...
The last thing I remember before blacking out was telling Jamie that she was too fat even for my standards. The first thing I remember after blacking out was waking up next to her.
I did the walk of shame wearing his scrubs. Fucking med school students is the way to go.
You were saying you didn't want to go home and insisted that I drop you guys off at your uncles. That's how you ended up sleeping on a porch with two dudes
If I come back tomorrow to find a certain football player tied up and locked in your closet, shit's gonna get real.
I'll set him free tomorrow morning ;)
Did your surprise acid trip turn out well?
It's like everything I need in life within a five block radius: booze, toilets, dogs, dicks.
You can not love someone based on who they were when they were 9. Does he know how many dicks I've sucked since then?
I'm pants less watching buffy the vampire slayer drinking rum. I'm not that hard to impress
He ripped my sink off my bathroom wall and then threw up in it.
JB just got pulled over and I am in the trunk...... this isnt good
Dammit. the window insulation sheets are too small for my windows. Yet again I am disappointed by size
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