I want to stick my p in your. b.
you kept lifting my skirt up, yelling "PANTY PARTY". needless to say, you're at the top of my father's shit list right now.
It's one of the reasons i'm here, along with emotional support, physical support if you need it, and power orgasms.
he let me duct tape his mouth because i said it was my fetish, i really just wanted him to shut up
It's 10am. I'm hungover wearing a flyers jersey and a phillies hat and eating a cheesesteak. I'm not the only one. Best city ever.
cheating on your boyfriend is the best diet ever, I've barely eaten in days. The guilt is killing me
I'm mentally preparing my vagina for this semester. It's fucking welcome week. I'm going to be talking to her all night.
Dude, I lost my shirt, and my doorknob is gone. I'm not sure which I should find first
Just saw identical twins riding scooters. Today is not real who the hell rides a scooter anymore
Is it bad i hate my job so much I'm actively trying to get fired tonight by drinking all the booze we have so I don't have to show up for my double tomorrow. Four mango vodkas later I have decided I'm a better server drunk.
I puked and rallied in front of a cop...and then waved at him....
she made me cum so hard I dislocated my jaw. I'm keeping her
My hot gay tattoo artist grew a beard and I'm not taking it well.
That's too much drama for once a month dick... that's in-house dick drama only
I almost wrecked my car because of a guy in skinny jeans had a boner
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