he invited me to an all week drinking party at his house. apparently he knows the key to my heart is booze shaped.
we just got in the car and birthday sex is playing
that is a sign the 3 of us should have a threesome
we agree. completely
Her parents hate her and she's on like major lockdown. All her friends are in jail and she has massive pit stains. Dude... It doesn't get much worse than that.
i just hope all the shady shit stops so i can let him into my pants
college "breaks" should be renamed "reminder why you left your hell hole of a life in the first place"
What?? I'm covered in blood at the hospital, I atleast deserve a pic of someones boobs
i know im back at school when i can poke any random spot on my body and expect a 80% chance that theres a bruise there
Alcoholism comes in two forms... Us.
No way. Our relationship is based solely on texting and sex. A phone call would be too much at this point.
your blue lips and tongue was their first indication you were probably underage
HEY THERE IS NO AGE LIMIT ON BLUE SLUSHIES
I hurt so much. Not in the emotional way, but in the I went to dive bars sorta way.
He held the beaver pelt from the fireplace over my crotch and asked his friend "she look familiar now?", he then remembered my name.
I'm sorry but if you can't drink a bottle of wine without a glass, I do not think we can be friends.
😂😂😂 what are we doing to these poor guys?!
Maintaining the status quo.
So, I found your eyebrow, someone glued it in between my eyebrows so I looked like I had a unibrow when I went to work...
Randomize
