he peed everywhere. it's like having a puppy.
fireball beer pong. youre missing out
how is that even possible?
ove gloves.
be there in ten.
Well, let's be honest here. You're dealing with gay guys... EVERYTHING has an emotional attachment.
we did it on the golf course and he threw the condom in the pond. some poor fish is gonna choke on it
I walked downstairs and he was standing in nothing but his boxers with his dick hanging out warming up eggs in the microwave.
maybe almost giving yourself a concussion counter acts a hangover
mom just asked if we are going to need more kaluha as she pulls 5 out of the cupboard. this xmas might kill me
Every time you come over you bleed on everything. I'm not calling Verizon again asking if blood is considered water damage.
Come back. She's looking through naked pics of his exes on his phone and questioning him about them and I'm too drunk to walk away.
Yeah. He can't come because his mom found the pizza box under his bed with my underwear in it. He acted confused, guess because i forgot to tell him..
I just wish I had a snapshot of his attempted front flip off the bar. There are some things that are worth getting a life ban for, and the moment of impact with his foot and that lady's face was one of those things.
Boobs have been pretty central in my life somehow lately which makes me question if I am truly gay
We fucked. Had a political debate. I won. So I sat on his face.
are you really asking me this. do you KNOW how many times i masturbate in a day? yeah. wrong person to ask about romance.
My dog just blew me a kiss. First of all I'm stoned and second of all he's a pitbull. Those aren't sexual dogs. So wtf.
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