Don't forget I'm 20 now
I liked you more when you were 19
So I finally got the Patron washed off my boobs.
If relationships were based on ego stroking and meaningless sex, we'd be soulmates
I've already planned a drinking game for mtvs jersey shore....jagerbomb everytime they do
The cops knocked on our door just to ask us if we were really having a no-pants party.
bah. we'll see. don't give yourself a boner of false hope.
The cop told us he we helped him pass his monthly bong quota. He almost ran out of room on the hood of his car..
should I tell them that both of them had sex with me last Saturday? it might be a relationship builder type of thing you know?
I walked in her room to find her rubbing lotion on her face high as fuck.
Well pulled into the driveway, and there she was. Kinda like a Vegas version of the mint on a pillow
Our DD painted my costume on me for tonight. The strippers have been teaching him how to paint costumes.
Teach me the ways of your demonic sorcery.
I'm sorry that you wanted to get laid and I all I did was play with your new cat instead.
tonight's safe word is brought to you by the phrase "Ahhhhhh"
I couldn’t resist. He had a camouflage condom. You know I love a man in a uniform
Randomize
