you're bored at work aren't you?
I'm toying with the idea of beating off under my desk
I think I can smell my own vagina right now
I might not be able to enter cuba but that doesn't mean that a cuban can't enter me
For the record it's 1026 and you told me I could leave you in the bathroom.
Hey I think I found part of your tooth next to your wine bottle in the floor board of my car.
No no I got the black eyes when I tried to do a flip off the second deck of a pontoon boat. Actually when I did a flip, it was a success.
dont iron anything. we fucked on the ironing board. details to follow.
Tranny group. Dance off. Horse hair and dicks swinging. I. Cant. Unsee. This.
Do you count doing $200 of coke off his dick until 6am as a successful rekindling of our relationship or...
He's way too stoned. I took him to el bra and he's laying on the table, not sure what to do with him
I think this bruise on my arm is actually an impression of your face
Watching Faye Reagan porn all weekend for St Patty's day. Nothing has ever seemed more appropriate.
she keeps a switchblade in her panty drawer... i am both terrified and slightly turned on
I just did a shot of Jameson and two shots of cuervo. Note: this is the moment things went down hill
spent the night holding naked strippers up for keg stands and doing endless amounts of body shots. good game 8am final exam.
whats an extra semester when you've already been in college for 6 years?
Randomize
