I just saw a like a 30 person deep walk of shame... it was like the million man march but with dorm chicks
i just witnessed two asians having sex for the first time ten feet away from me..hes having a seizure..what the duck is going on???
i make up for being a shitty girlfriend by being amazing in bed.
Just saw 30+ dicks. Explain later.
You do realize that we bought beer at 9:30 in the morning to avoid sobering up. Stupidity was bound to follow.
He's slept with 25.5 people. Wtf is a half?
It was just a friend comforting a friend. Except his penis was inside of me.
It's all fun and games until you throw up hot cheetos in your drawer.
High gym went like this: I went to Dairy Queen instead.
The only alcohol in the house was a bottle of Sherry. It's like cough syrup that I shotgunned off Strawberry Shortcake's ass.
You know when you meet a penis that looks like it was made out of all your hopes and dreams?
You're wearing a hospital gown and pearls. Let's reevaluate your life.
Apparently nothing brings out sympathy in a barista like asking if they have a hangover special
Before consuming her Waffle House she did a few deep breaths and cleared the table to "prepare herself for this"
Gotta say, self-deprecating Lord of the Rings-themed sex jokes were not on my agenda for today.
Randomize
