her vagina looked like bernie madoff
The whole way homeyou were flapping your arms up and down, and when I asked why you said you were trying to tell Tony Danza about the angels.
My Nuvaring birth control makes me queef.
Maybe if you date her you can take a dump on her
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i never realize how drunk i am until i start using people as human stripper poles
I wanna dance tonight. i just wanna grind my ass in some man's dick.
Whoever decided putting Tom Seizmore and Heidi Fleiss together in rehab should win some kind of award.
She refered to her bed as the "cockpit"....I understand that this morning.
He just walked into my room in a robe with a cooking pot of cereal.
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I can coach you back to consumption. Think of it kinda like Rocky II.
just letting you know, you took a hit of the blunt while sleeping. happy birthday
You're married and I'm going to make out with a stranger tonight. Isn't that weird? It's like a gap in the time space continium.
He just made this face while he was fucking me and he looked like the hunchback of Notre Dame, I had to stop him.
I'm not too sure what happened last night, but by the looks of it, we must have gotten drunk with zebras.
I am watching the most amazing drunk person ever. Literally such a trooper that you can put anything in front of him he'll drink it. His latest reason for taking another shot was: well whatever. I'm never gonna get married anyway.
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