R you on birth control?
No, why?
...no reason
East Village: Only place you can play pac man while eating a pineapple hotdog, go to the bar next door and see a graphic blowjob on every tv
haha my mom just sent us out to go to all of the hair cutting places to ask for hair because deer ate all our zuchini.. and we have to pee in a bucket all day cause deer hate urine. please tell me we are normal?
i cant lie to you.
she added me on facebook and her celebrity doppelganger is rosie odonnel. FUCK
I have fb friend requests from two random swedish brothers... Must have something to do with that hostel I stumbled into on mardi gras
Year anniversary in a month. Think I'll just give him a COME ON MY FACE FREE card. I'm both broke and shameless.
I deem it safe for us to drink together again.
They dropped the charges?
Yeppers. Come drink beers.
I'm trying to figure if this dude sitting in his car with the door open is dead or just sleeping. Someone was probably wondering the same thing bout me 20 minutes ago. Your meeting is taking a ridiculous amount of time.
Dude you went around coming up behind people and whispering in their ears. I dont know what you said but they looked terrified when you left.
I ripped the door frame off last night too. Just remembered.
That sad moment when you flush your Molly down the toilet at the airport & watch your vacation slowly end..
Best walk of shame ever. Wearing a bright purple onesie, covered in smudged childrens make up, carrying my shoes and 1/4 sac of goon. I swear every house I walked past had an elderly couple watering their garden just to watch me
We just fucked each other sober. #goteam
Dude, Kevin called the cops on the cops.
I'm listening to a women in metal station and wearing a flannel. I may have approached peak lesbian.
Randomize
