My right nipple has been called many things but never a ghost pig
would you consider dating someone with braces an investment?
That fat broad you banged out last night is still here and I can hear her snoring through the living room wall. I would leave, but I don't want to come home to an empty fridge.
She has more profile pics than tagged pics. narcissism at its best.
It makes me feel uncomfortable and unsafe when he licks my pants
Im in his room watching him sleep. Im going to try and jerk off and not get caught by the nurse.
I hope your perfect outfit is a slutty power rangers outfit. That's been my dream wedding since I was a kid.
Are we really going to sext in Pokemon battle fashion?
I'm home now if you wanna come over.
Sloane just tried to lick my eyeball. I'm going to regain my composure then I'll be there.
I'm glad our friendship can withstand laughing mid-blowjob during the diarrhea scene in Dumb & Dumber.
I was so horny last night, I failed to let him know about my current bed bug infestation.
MY LIFE IS HARD OK. I HAVE TO WAKE UP AT LIKE 10 OR 11 AFTER SMOKIG POT AND PLAYING FALLOUT UNTIL 3
I'm not trying to analyze you I'm just saying you are being unfair to soup
Cookies and nudity, all you need in life
You know the story of the boner party, right? They got stuck in the mountains and ate each other?
It was the Donner party... boner party was the porn version...
Randomize
