it's my fault, I passed out instead of getting up to pee.
You tried to call the hospital and left a voicemail asking if you could be put on the liver transplant list as a "pre-caution"
tonight i'm making a christmas tree shaped shot pyramid
When the cops came you just told them you'd go to your time out corner.
please dont make me drink to the titanic soundtrack
I woke him up and he was mumbling something about it being moist, or he peed himself but it was okay.
The bartender cut me off so I peed in the corner. How no one noticed I have no idea.
Are we hungover?
I got a lapdance from a gay guy in red uggs and spandex shorts with reindeer antlers on. And I don't remember it. Hungover does not even cover it.
why would you automatically assume i'm high...
you just told me you're eating the powder of a lemonade mix.
Besides the flaccid incident, it was decent. Average sized. So this is my life now. Loneliness and lackluster sex.
No. I think its because I really and truly know that he is a moron and his future prospects are zoo animals.
Will you trust fall hold me, so I can pee of this building.
His roommate walked in then asked "well did you at least finish". What a way to start your birthday
Oh god. Charles just fell off the bar. Didn't spill his drink. He's come so far..
Is that strawberry winking at me??
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