even through the webcam i could tell he was aiming for my face/hair
I don't care where my tongue is but i t's going to be in all the pictures.
Nada. Shooting off confetti and wanted to see I'd u could see it from ur house.
Wow. Its not even 11am.
We thought she was passed out on the toilet, but she raised her head to tell me the word I couldn't remember was "empathize." Then she puked blood and passed out.
Not much, really baked..... beethoven is AMAZING it's like i'm flying in space with baby jesus
All I need right now is some mouthwash, dignity, and security camera footage...
I have my vibrator between my thighs and I'm listening to high school musical. That kind of high. We're all in this together.
Well we had to pull over on a side street in town so I could throw up while moms were driving by with car loads of kids, I feel like I just performed a lil silent AA film for the childrens
I would pay to watch a Bravo special of you getting Botox.
Woke up this morning with fake blood all over my bed which is a positive considering last year it was all real blood
Tell him you want to lick his face. Didn't work for me but might turn out better for you idk
I just realized, you're dating a guy named Jameson. That is another level of whiskey dick.
if you're wondering why I texted you some girl's name at 4 am it's because you wanted to Facebook stalk the girl who gave that Irish guy we met at the Chinese food place her license and said 'call me'
Apparently I told the mayor I want to be a trophy wife
It was like Strip poker and blow, but with Yu-Gi-Oh cards
Randomize
