I've been reduced to Capt. Morgan and Golden Girls reruns. Ugh.
i just fell asleep at my computer and i woke up and in the google bar it said delicious foods to eat
Just woke up in a hotel next to a 38 year old mom who's married... I think Spring Break has started
then mid-sex he looked at me and said "i hope this is as good for you as it is for me" and kept going.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She was kind of put off because I kept calling her baby my spirit animal and staring hungrily at her breasts.
Bad news. I baked you a cake and one of my fingernails is missing.
She said " I'm going to get her back one day soon for putting extacy in my pop while I drove her to whislter" just a heads up.
I've slipped into the part of my life where I am not having sex to get Phils tickets from this chick. I need to seriously rethink my life decisions
I don't get hangovers. Except once. And there is a massively epic story behind that, involving so much alcohol I should have died, and 13 raw hotdogs.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
also, am i correct in guessing that advertising the size of my hypothetical penis is a turnoff to him?
Then. Omg he showed me A CARD TRICK AFTER WE CAME
He was late, on account of he accidentally went to the Al-Anon meeting across the hall, and it took him 30 minutes to realize he was in the wrong room.
Take off your clothes and see if he wants to have sex, that's a good way to find out
coming down from speed on a 5 hour flight home from vegas is not a valid reason for calling off work the next day
so i said i had a yeast infection
Yeah. 11 people shoved in a clown car for a 1 hour party. I'm too old for house parties.
Randomize