I walked into my house this morning to find an 18 pack on the counter. I think that's gods way of ringing the bell for round two.
No, you dont understand, he literately fucked me into a new hairstyle, quite nice too.
You yelled "sharpie war!" then jammed it in her ear
you just stood there spinning and got mad if anyone tried to stop you
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I'm not sure how appropriate a drug deal is while at a wake.
I only get commercials for vodka and Rogaine now. You're exactly right, Hulu. That's exactly right.
I had to jump out of her car while it was moving enough said
So the chick throws up over the rail from the 15th floor at the sky bar and I knew I would take her back to my hotel.
Currently doing my walk of shame down a floating dock. No more guys who live on a boat EVER AGAIN
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she cried into her fur with two handfuls of money- she was the physical manifestation of white girl problems
As I was about to go to sleep he asked me if I was ready to 69. HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK AT HIM IN THE FACE OVER DINNER TOMORROW
Is this a drinking picnic?
Is there another kind?
Literally just had a girl put her street name into my phone. Yeah.
I'd just like to inform you. That when I was at bvj the first day I was blackout drunk by noon. Get on past Chelsea's level like now. Do it for present Chelsea
I legit just swiped right with a Tinder feminist just to get in an argument with her. Soo that's my Friday night so far...
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