i now have a sippy cup solely for the purpose of drinking alcohol out of...am i an alcoholic?
don't be alarmed if you come back and i'm passed out drunk and naked cuddling with the franzia.
He asked me to spit in his mouth. I did. Never let me hook up with this guy again.
Put it this way, at one point I was getting stoned on the roof of the strip club with one of the strippers while another one gave me a free lap dance. That wasn't even the best part of the night.
I did a hand stand against the glass wall at Ziggy's with no panties on and got 3 phone numbers. Thank God I shaved this morning...
Except if I'm having sex. In which case you're in the bed with us or out of the room. No halfsie participation.
They are taking turns pissing on the fire. This is my life.
Yea no bueno and I only brought enough weed to last one night. And it was no Hanukah nug, it didn't last 8 days.
I am not working on the very first day I can throw up alcohol that I legally bought and drank.
I just did the walk of shame in monkey slippers in the snow
Teach me the song of your people
So i stood up out of the sunroof while he gave me oral. Car was still moving. Exactly how illegal is that?
Apparently mid making out I got up and said "I need to figure out my life" went in the bathroom and threw up for two hours.
Like I didn't gracefully walk into these feelings. No, I fucking stumbled and fell face fucking first.
at the time fanning him with a dish tray seemed like a good idea but when we found it buried in the dirt the next morning i questioned our judgement. needless to say he still threw up even with the extra breeze.
I just washed down my antidepressant with some pineapple wine. I'm the picture of mental health this holiday season
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