Strip flip cup NEVER equals good idea
The jonas brothers playing in your laptop. This is why guys won't sleep with you...
Last night he was fingering me with one hand to his ear, calling himself 'dj clittles'
Thats what happens when go home with guys that wear shutter shades to the bar..
I have decided today is drunk costume day. That is, i woke up still drunk and found costumes all over my floor. Heck yes. This is happening. Come over. Drink.
This is working out surprisingly well considering it started out with us using a christmas tree as a battering ram
Listen, everyone has a price and mine is free taco bell.
You are number one in my heart. But in the dick Olympics you're disqualified.
My liver hurts and I just woke up from my first sleep in two days
Sounds like the perfect vacation
She was just a sweet cute intern for us until I saw her naked in my bed the day after the Christmas party
Where are you? Your parents are here. Their flight got in early.
Trashy Tequila Tuesdays. Have them meet me here @ the bar.
I'm not sending your parents to see you drunk at a gay bar. What kind of boyfriend do you think I am?
A great one. Entertain them i'll be home soon....... I think
So, I'm about to take my pants off in the Walmart parking lot, when am old lady parks next to me. I'm all the way in the back next to the semis. What the hell?
Bacardi 151 is like a past nightmare I'm still curious about
I am naked and annoyed.
I feel like I shouldn't be encouraging my friends to hook up with their teachers.....but if it's for academic reasons....then I definitely encourage it.
Facebook is for cat videos and having better lives than people from high school, period.
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