hooking up with chicks might be the way to go after all. walk of shame looks better in her clothes.
So... 5th graders can't whisper for shit, but apparently I have an awesome rack.
Haha. Niice.
Yeah, I didn't know whether to be shocked or flattered.
both.
These 5 days benders will be the death of me. Just living and breathing is a struggle right now.
Bring more bourbon. Day drunk just hit another level.
Sorry you had to see that, but on the bright side...at least I trust you enough to have sex in front of you
so some random man just messaged me on facebook "tig ol bitties" should i be concerned?
After he finished going down on me he came up from under the covers, threw his hands into the air and shouted "take that lesbians!" and finished with "and we have dicks!"
She said we "made love." I had to explain to her that when both parties agree that the first time time they have sex both people agree to video tape the whole thing its not "making love" but more like random good time fun sex.
New guy at work just gave me a Percocet for my headache. Officially best friends
He made me watch a sex tape him and his gf made. They were in the shower when her roommate walked in on them. Not kidding: she asked to join in.
I hate him. He gets laid, my dick gets laughed at.
Don't judge me like that. At least the house is getting cleaned. If I have to drink and listen to Disney music on repeat for that to happen, so be it.
I'm texting you know although you won't get this until you wake up. the only reason you are strapped to your bed is because you were trying to fly out your window.
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
Naptime over. I've got fresh contacts and tequila. RAAAAAAGE!
His bedroom is the preferred destination of MILFs, cougars, recent divorcees and sexually frustrated wives
His penis is my hero
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