You were wearing a sombrero. And a crown. And told me to use the nerf gun to protect your room from the cat. You don't have a cat.
um. i met him on myspace...we text now, he lives down the street
my dad just beat the shit out of me cuz i blew my nose on one of my dirty t shirts and he saw it and thought it was cum.
pray for me tomorrow cause I have a midterm that I've mostly studied for by watching Bill Nye episodes on the subject...
At this point it has been so long i wouldnt know what a dick was if it slapped me in the face.
well you haven't lived until you've been 86'ed from a family restaraunt
They peed on our pledges last night... i dont know if i should put an lol at the end of that or not
she kicked me out for pissing in the recycling bin. I mean, is it really THAT big of a deal?
Ok, maybe I don't want to know what happened last night... But somehow I guess I moved the oven.
Talking to a male stripper. About the LSAT. Only in Vegas.
Just walked out of my apartment and came face to face with a shirtless dude playing with his balls and trying to tie his shoes.
It's really not cool dreaming about going into labor with your ex boyfriends love child as you're sleeping next to him.
While randomly hooking up with my neighbor last night he says "it's okay we're neighbors".
Crying on the toilet and taking a shit. This is what being an adult is about
He hit me with his bagpipe
Isnt that against the lesbian handbook?
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