If you had to guess, would you say that as a species, midgets are more or less flammable than humans?
Less. Duh. They have less combustible mass.
just got pizza delivered to the hot tub. its easier than i thought to be this lazy
these two guys are about to go shot for shot with syrup
now he is talking to a potato
We have to go find her fucking car. She came home from a 80 dollar cab ride, no shoes, and all she remembers is its at a burger king on a street with an H in it
If I threw up, how do I still have the same piece of gum in my mouth from the beginning of the night?
Really? How much of his life do you think he remembers? I'm pretty sure 75% of it qualifies as "kind of a blur".
Also, what is a socially acceptable way to introduce a crossbow in public?
I'm developing all these feelings it's disgusting.
Guess who has two thumbs and broke her boyfriends dick?
Like I could never be a lawyer because I would just look like a porn star impersonation of a lawyer.
Goddamn it. Hes got me addicted to his penis
All I ever do is give guys anxiety problems and flaccid penises.
Why were you naked on your bathroom floor?
It was a "get entirely naked to take a shit" kind of blackout I think.
I wanna riverboat gamble on your vaginal waters. Just sayin
You really need to stop getting injured so often it's really starting to negatively impact my sex life. Oh and get well soon. . . no seriously though hurry the fuck up.
Randomize
