After work we went home to fool around. Turns out he had sawdust under his foreskin. I'm never going down on him again.
we need blinds so i can safely watch porn during the day
The bar posted my picture because my name changes with each new fake i get. i'm getting a wig.
i jsut waqnnna hugg thw crap outa sokme peoplee
That sucks about the drama. But hey, it's always a good day when you see someone get tazed!
I'm beginning to think the only reason I get laid anymore is girls are fantasizing sleeping with my dad...
Come out Saturday. It's for my lesbian daughter from the future birthday.
He could smell the liquor on my breath. Fuck. I thought he would smell French toast.
Remember that time you bought snap bracelets on Amazon and they sent you 300 pregnancy tests instead? Amazon knows.
Also I just had a flash back ... He told me I have nice nipples and then asked me about yours..
Going through my bras is like traveling back in time through my past hookups and relationships....
I just set my acrylic nail on fire while trying to light my blunt
Whenever you have to pee or whatever I'll be over here to harass you
He radiates elegant sexual dominance. I bet even his balls have pinstripes.
GIIIIRL I AM STONED AF AND I HAVE A HOMEMADE POT PIE IN THE OVEN THIS PARTY IS LIT.
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