so... i had sex tonight
with a midget
nicccce tits for a little person
sitting in class between the roommates of the two girls i fucked over break. this feels like a bad version of wife swap
i gave her road head last night, needless to say it wasn't the same and i bit a chunk of the inside of my cheek off.
we were hanging out in his room and he decided to play WoW.. so i took off all my clothes while he wasn't paying attention and laid on his bed and started playing with myself.
did he notice?
of course he didn't notice.. he was playing a fiesty level 1 fucker that wouldn't give up..
He kept yelling "osteoporosis" and threw milk at her because she broke her arm.
At what point in your drunken state would you actually believe that the cops wanted to party with you?
There was a lot going on. It was easy to miss a 70 foot tall puppet.
Ok, it is technically a gay bar but it's a total dive w/ strong drinks. The important thing is you can start drinking at 11:00 am without judgement
oh oh oh, and apparently you can bring in your own snacks. Some old dude just gave me cashews and cheetos.
We're using joints as your birthday candles
I wasn't that drunk, I know my limits. When peeing became difficult I stopped taking shots.
I'm sitting in Starbucks, waiting for direction in my life, or it to be 8 p.m. Whatever comes first.
Currently at a fetish club with a set of swings (don't ask). Having flashbacks to the park by my house
I'm drunk, I'm covered in pizza, and I'm watching Jurassic Park. I feel like you'll get this. xx
I tried sex in a car once. It was like trying to do yoga in a drainage pipe with your arms and legs tied while using a typewriter with your penis.
He totally just went there for sex cuz he slept in her roommates bed the rest of the night after they were done...
pure definition of booty call.
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