i just walked in on my sister drunkenly sobbing to sarah mclachlan. its time for an intervention.
didn't that happen to you last weekend?
shut up.
I don't apprectiate you insinuating that my breasts have a sort of bremuda triangle effect
You don't understand, Single Ladies is like the Don't Stop Believing of the gay community.
Oh shit. Easter I forgot. Maybe we should leave the illegal stuff for when Jesus is less present.
I know this may seem inappropriate, but are you gonna bring any blow to the wedding?
He was sitting at the table eating ice and said, "I'm pretty sure everyone in my family has nipples."
But don't worry I didn't actually get stitches, although according to the health center I probably should have
She had cheddar bay biscuits in her purse. Biscuits, Id and cash. I'm gonna marry her.
She keeps asking if I've seen him... For the last time YES... IN MY BED LAST FRIDAY NIGHT AND THEN AGAIN SATURDAY MORNING
It's snowing in May and there was a law school party at the strip club. The end is near.
is one penis in the hand worth one better nicer penis in the manscaped bush?
So, Cheetos don't microwave great.
You have no idea how awkward it is fucking someone with the same name as your dog
there must be tiny pirates in the freezer stealing our rum.
Remember the Giant sandworm from the movie Dune? Well that's about how big his dick is. No bulshit.
Randomize
