umm..so Dad's wearing a thong, I don't know what to do
put a dollar in it?
five shots of tequila, anal and 3 cigarettes. not my best idea on a saturday afternoon.
non applicator tampons are so hard to put in when your drunk. i fingered myself for 10 minutes and forgot what i was trying to do.
Trying not to fart in the comp lab is going to take everything i've got.
i told my boss i want to eat her tits. 90 percent sure i'm getting fired
God gave him joint rollers for hands
he has the hands of the vagina gods.
Spent the entire ride home from downtown trying to convince designated dawgs to drop us off at waffle house instead of our apartment. i told them it was my house...they didn't buy it.
You turned byob into bring your own shit show. Good work.
I think people like me is why alcohol became illegal at one point
Apparently hitting a bong with your mouth half numb is hilarious but frustrating!
Well. At least he's a gentleman. A gentleman satanist.
I sense lesbianism
That's a weird power
Donald Trump looks like someone photoshopped hair onto a dick pic.
I'm concerned I may die tonight. All I've been told about my bday shenanigans is to bring slutty clothes, a bikini, tylenol, sunglasses and pjs. Tell me what the fuck is going on...now
bring lube too
i hate all of you
Randomize
