I was rubbing the clit just like wikipedia told me to.
Let's perk you up. I have a good PG joke and a picture of my penis while urinating. You pick.
she just took a shower. i'll probs go down on her to encourage shower taking. it's like pavlov, you know?
Just saw a guy at the gas station legitimately dressed in exactly what my costume was last night. Fuck his life.
Is it wrong of me that I wish I could be a midget for a day so I can give head standing up?
Horny girl and non horny girl have different views on life
He said my breasts were God's way of making up to him for all the shit he's had to endure in his life.
im eating kix cereal and taking shots by myself. please come hang out with me. im desperate
I guess I tried to show you how big my closet was and we ended up eating pickles in my bathroom
Responsibility: Hiding your beer when your DWI clients who are out on bond come to talk to you at bars.
I don't believe u have enough text space to describe the dimensions of his penis.
He's grinding topless with a group of girls to that discovery channel song. May I take a message?
She told me I made the cut, and to write my name and number on the white board by the door. I was the 7th number down.
The stock is going waaaaay up on that picture of my pussy with a bowtie on it.
Also I would love to pregame at your place if I weren't stuck at mine drinking laxatives
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