Is there a tactful way for me to ask a girl to let me know when she gets her period?
I wish that guy wasn't missing teeth
Let's go to weight watchers and eat in front of them.
My doc was like ur only supposed to have 6 sexual partners..thats just one semester at college
he asked me to eat out his asshole. after five minutes of uncomfortable staring i realized he was serious.
high as fuck. watching parent trap with my mom. keep missing my mouth.
Sorry about the flaming shit on your door
I never thought I'd be in my late 20s and send that text
Mistakes were made. Hot mistakes that I want to make again. But tapping your employee is def a mistake. Esp in front of two other employees.
I walked around with red solo cups on my feet, weeds tied around my neck and a tree in my hand
New guy at work just gave me a Percocet for my headache. Officially best friends
Sending emails to my new boss whilst unable to move from the toilet seat because of alcohol. Great start to a new job as a school counselor.
Thinking about licking your asshole. And hugs and stuff too I guess.
Well I'm back. Could you fill me in on what I missed?
You don't want to know. Trust me.
you never keep up with shots anymore
I'm trying to be more responsible these days
you fucking tried to take your pants off and pee in Taco Bell's parking lot
i just swapped my iPhone for a happy meal. this is greg btw, the hooker let me borrow her phone
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