their songs make me feel all the things I wanna feel. Ya dig?
and what kinds of feelings would these be?
Happy, horny, occasionally hungry
i just overheard my mom tell my dad he should drink less so he could hit the right hole
idea:have a jello shot stand(opposed to lemonade stand) to raise money for spring break
Nothing says fuck you quite like putting your used condom in someones mailbox for them to find in the morning.
They both just did a shot, head butted each other, did another shot and then slapped each other in the face. These could be the two guys we've been looking for all our lives
Are we playing "how much awkwardness can we fit in the final 29 hours of 2011"?
yes yes we are. Go do something with super glue. i don't want to win.
She woke me up with an urgent call telling me she was rolling on Mollie and swimming in the ocean. I mean that's just great. If she drowns, I'll feel responsible.
You asked him for a membership to him and his dick.
Seriously, she had fingers that made me thank a god I don't even believe in that I'm gay.
Remind me never to smoke before babysitting again. Ate an entire bottle of children's gummy vitamins.... not an easy thing to explain to parents.
The lady at the Humaine Society gave me her nephew's number because I seem like a loving and caring person.
Does she know that each time you've adopted a new cat in the past year it's because some guy stopped fucking you and you don't want to eat your feelings?
I'm definitely not at Wal-Mart eating jalapeno poppers with an elevated blood alcohol content
She got engaged last night. I don't think you should ask her out man.
It's a mix of hot dirty sex and week old bong water
Bahahah I should. I’m the free range drunk girl who should clearly not be free range because who knows what kind of fuckery I would get into
Randomize
