he refuses to go down on me anymore when he's high because he thinks my clit piercing stares at him
Stars make me really horny. Especially that shiny one its just staring at me.
You can't have hate sex in a hallway!!
she was trying to give me a handjob in biology class while we were learning about the penis.
just crush a couple of percocets into it. tell him sam adams came out with a new beer. flavored with sleep.
He shit in the bushes next to the pool at the Venetian, after throwing up in the hallway. You really can do anything in Vegas.
he bit the head off a dead goose for 5 beers. this is my future boyfriend.
are you aware you chucked your pizza at a girl's face after the bar last night?
its official. the only way for my hair to look good is to blow somebody
Definitely Got caught hugging a strangers tree last night with 5 others.
While I'm on hiatus from the Russian potato nectar, it is my wish for others to enjoy it in my stead.
He just sent me a picture of himself naked while cooking pancakes and he made the caption "bitchin' in the kitchen"
Which outfit says "I'm sorry for your loss but we're still banging later"?
When I'm famous, she'll look at her kids and go "I saw her buttcheeks beefore she was famous. I'm truly blessed."
so i may or may not have just had sex on the stage of the lecture hall....
Randomize
