What do you call a girl with PMS and GPS?
A crazy bitch that WILL find your ass!
Thanks for the menagerie of condoms on my desk
It's the use of SAT words like that which make me want to use them on you
A guy in a sombrero stopped to take a picture with me sitting on the curb.
If I remember who won the superbowl tomorrow morning.. I think I'm just going to quit drinking. There really won't be a point anymore
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This could help me cancel out guys. First 4 that text me get to stay in the loop. And the last one gets the boot. We'll do this til there's only one man standing
Turns out I was the only one drinking. I broke one guy's bed and kicked another in the face. Then when an RA came by I shouted to let him in he's gonna find the vodka anyway. Great night
He's afraid of heights. How do I know, you ask? Blowjob on his roof.
Wait, whatever happened to locking our vaginas in closets?
You left wolverine marks
I'm somewhere between sorry and proud
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Naw. I'm tired and I'd have to shave my legs. I doubt the sex or the company would be worth it.
I am not getting you a goat.
Fair enough. I am not going out with you. The goat was not negotiable.
Notice how both of our plans for hooking up with these guys involve getting them drunk?
Oh my God, we're like men but with great boobs.
I just gave them my two week notice. Now is the perfect time to fuck my boss's son
I had to fake it. He was punching my vagina like it owed him money and enough was enough.
Hey can you send me a pic of your breast with a peace sign in the photo? I'm trying to win a scavenger hunt contest. Thanks so much
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