Im at strip club and am horny
So you started off by saying "no homo," but patting his crotch and saying his jeans fit him wonderfully may have overshadowed that.
if I was a wizard from waverly place we wouldn't b having these problems
Minivans at bars can only lead to bad things.
I love having hate sex.
they told me they were banning four lokos so yeah i did have to buy 42 of them
I'm so prepared to puke on walk of shame tomorrow that I'm putting a toothbrush and toothpaste in my purse the night before. And to think, my dad thought I wouldn't make it in college.
I find it ironic...the gays are dying to get married & I just want a fucking divorce
I apparently used the line "I'm a bouncer too so i would know if I were too drunk" then they asked me to leave.
I was grinding on him when mosquitoes starting biting us and ruined every damn thing. I just wanted to fuck on a slide under the stars. It's every girls dream.
He was late, on account of he accidentally went to the Al-Anon meeting across the hall, and it took him 30 minutes to realize he was in the wrong room.
do you think your dog feels awkward being in the background of your nudes?
You know what else? He didn't even get to see my butt. And my butt is really cute. Car sex is awful.
i feel like the girl with kaleidoscope eyes except the kaleidoscopes are sparkly butt plugs
How does it make you feel that I can't control my vagina around you?
Randomize
