You're my little dorito
There are just some things I refuse to put in my mouth.
He kissed my cheek and I could smell it the whole way home like shit
They just both started mumbling "i cant go home like this" "it's all over my face" "do you have extra pants?"
trying to line up a DD for St Pats Day. i guarantee i will put out. or puke and pass out. really its 50/50 at this point.
It's all fun and games until some random starts jerking it on the deck.
It all started because he put my damn phone in his pants. By his crotch nonetheless.
I didn't even have pants on and you think I had an agenda
Also I just took Ritalin with coffee so if anyone wants to know what numbers sound like, I got you
I just tried to brush my hair with a can opener. Who gave you that brownie
last night i fell off a barstool and busted my nose. i can regretfully say that i didn't see cherub last night.
part of it says your brother mayyyy have put his lips on my vagina
Who the fresh hell put 2 pillows a raincoat and a guitar on top of me to keep me warm last night
I found half a candy bar in my bra today... Melted to my nipple. What a mess. It was still good though.
By the time we got to McDonald's you were sharing a Big Mac with a stripper.
Randomize
