I didn't think it was possible for the human body to be physically dependant on weed until I moved in with this kid
she says she's going to shake me awake in 15min intervals if I pass out
this was your mom?
As usual, I had to fight him for his car keys. Though this time he made it to the valet garage. All the Hispanic attendants gathered around and watched. Felt like I was in a cock fight.
I can't stream porn because Xbox live is taking all the Internet. I thought having a male roommate would make life easier.
It's like a squid of pain has attached to my head and it spreading it's whorey tentacles all over.
I have dibs on his crisis of faith.
Look, I'm just saying... paying ur respects to the neighbors who had a death in the family with food u steal from the neighbors having the cookout may result in a negative karma situation.
Spent fifteen minutes in the car thinking i was psychic before i realized the cd was not on shuffle
Frankly, since I met you, I practically exist in a state of constant readiness for sex
Speaking of mom and dad and Halloween... Mom bought a size small slutty nurse outfit last night. So yeah, they're getting hammered
That hot guy just got to class and he's eating a bagel sandwich. I dunno which I'm more attracted to
I just got a free round of shots. Don't you DARE fuckin tell me that A-cup boobs can't get you good things.
Who gets call-your-ex-from-4-years-ago drunk on a Thursday??
Oh, in response to your "does dating get better" question...I feel like penises are getting smaller nowadays. Its been several years since I saw a good 8+ incher.
Sooo, did you delete me cause I said I wouldn't babysit you while you did shrooms? You're a grown man.
Randomize
