that's fine. btw we still need $500 for the donkey...
can you come get me at the bar
ill be there in 10 min
can we stop off at build a bear on the way home
I'm buying a chandelier at walmart. WHO'S CLASSY NOW, BITCHES.
Oh please. You given/recieved a handjob out in public. I think that shy ship has sailed.
We just got really drunk and bought toilet paper. Successful Monday.
Well, I can't relate. I have no idea what it feels like to withhold sex. Or have self-control in general.
is it too much to get a jumbo margarita in a sippy cup right now?
Found trail of ibuprofen on ground. I'm like the intervention version of e.t.
His last name was woodcox? That just screams I've got a great penis
The guy I blew last night was pierced in multiple places. I had to use extra caution to avoid my temporary filling.
Why I hate online dating: not even one day in and a 57 year old asks me to call him "Daddy."
YOU BROUGHT HANDCUFFS TO THE WHITE ELEPHANT EXCHANGE AND DIDN'T TELL ME???
Dude she smelled like bar-b-que sauce. I can't think of anything better.
Yeahh. im on the phone with him drunk. he told me he found a pigeon in a cardboard box and named it quincy...
ready for a night of bad decisions, horrible moral standards, and an unhealthy amount of illegal substances.
Randomize
