im letting my talent of no gag reflex go to waste
Please tell me you did not just serenade her with "Let's Get it On"?
Yeah I think it worked. My penis thanks you, Captain Morgan.
She said if it slipped out one more time she was going to duct tape it in her vagina
i guess its officially winter break. i woke up alone and fully clothed this morning.
So I just used shazaam to figure out a pairs figure skating song. I don't think I could get any gayer.
she has tattoo'd to her hips "grip here" this is why they made spring break
oh my god i just remembered the cat blow jobs.
Well the pizza delivery man was either startled or incredibly intrigued to see me skateboarding in the living room by myself at 1 in the morning in ripped pantyhose
The first couple times was just weird, but after last night, I'm beginning to think you have a real problem banging pregnant women who are carrying someone elses child.
And I just want to be like your tongue is not a FUCKING sword
Gonna open a taco bell in colorado. Millions bro.
That shot was terrible
You were like one of those guys at carnivals that spit out fire..... Except it was throw up
Wearing rip off pants to a booty call last night was one of my most brilliant ideas ever.
My morning started with my mom giving me the number for a substance abuse councellor. How's your day going?
I was just dry heaving outside of the Chem building when a guided tour walked by. Welcome to the Maritimes kids...
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