Hi, this is ****, we hooked up a few weeks ago. I was wondering, do you have any STDs?
but his dog just died...ill send him an edible arrangement or a 6 pack or something
what made it akward was his girlfriends dog watching us have sex
So thanks to the xanax and vodka memory erasering combo i wake up only to reopen a picture of some very familiar balls
Just proof I should've brought the airhorn with me to class.
Hey I came back and we made joints with the breathalyzers the cops left last night.
I tried to roll down the stairs in a ball. I have bruises, the pain is too much.
What the fuck, why would you ever do that?
Haven't you ever just wanted to be a ball?
Yea. It was an issue. Great time though. Apparently I went through the coat check, put my coat on and forgot I had it so I tried to go through again and just didn't understand why thy weren't helping me. Dave coat checked his pants.
We play beat the clock every morning. When the alarm goes off, she hits snooze and drops her panties. If I can't finish in time to beat the snooze, she jumps in the shower and I've gotta jerk off.
i had a mental breakdown over a math asignment proposed to a glass of chocolate milk then burned my hands when i acidentally leaned on the stove i have the grill marks burned on my hands i can see them
its only been 20 minuts since i last saw you
And now you understand the importance of Saturday naps.
Because you stay up all night having sex and eating sushi?
I just want to trick people into going on dates with me so they can bring back to their houses and let me use their wifi.
Just cried because I'm out of oreos. This post-molly depression can go fuck itself.
I agree and I would be an awesome dog
Afterwards I drank a whole bottle of cake vodka in the bathtub while he was bawling his eyes out. Hands down weirdest hookup I've ever had.
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