On my list on ridiculous morning after bus rides home, still sopping wet and carrying a giant straw hat is definitely top five
I feel like shaving is just admitting i'm gonna do him, even though im still on the fence
shave. it'll take 10 min. Better safe than hairy.
I took my shirt off and stood in the kitchen for an hour and a half talking to his parents about my tattoos
Too lazy to get out of my bed thats 2 feet away from you. Are you sure youre alright?
I just got released from jail. still in my kilt. bring pants damnit. they won't understand.
pants will make it better? really?
After Thursday my breakup "don't screw anybody out of respect" month will be over and I will be set loose. My pussy is purring with anticipation.
It's great when the cashier at the liquor store asks "weren't you wearing those clothes yesterday"
No. I just want to cuddle and talk about our feeling. Of course this a booty call.
Just your daily reminder that we're terrible people: the average number of men a woman sleeps with in their lifetime is 4
Mike passed out early so we kept filling his mouth with redi-whip and letting the dog lick it out, but he started getting hives so we stopped.
I'm making mistakes. Coming up with girl now
I hate me. That girl was hiiiiideous.
My mom just told me I look like darth vader. how's your night?
If he refers to me as slump buster one more fucking time.
After passing out at the kitchen table, you woke up in my parents bed in between them. With no pants on.
I called him Oliver all night
His name is Brandon
Dude... Those don't even start with the same letter...
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