who do you think you are?
someone who doesn't ask that question
you missed a midterm to shack? WOW. How desperate are you?
worms taste like bacon by the way.
I always wondered what they tasted like.
So gin and wine won't be happening again
Well if all fails we can always become surrogate mothers. I hear that pays well.
That kid i sell weed to just had his mom give him a ride over here she waited in the car while he bought a bag
There's cereal in my underwear. Was I in your apartment at any time last night? That's the only logical explanation for this.
I just got my beard fondled by a drunk chick outside the venue. I feel slightly violated. And I think her boyfriend wanted to fight me.
The one time my sister did shrooms she thought she was thumbalina. I can't live my life that way
Have you ever just woke up in the morning and felt pregnant
so i woke up at six am and his bathroom was flooded. i think i fucked shit up in my sleep.
Well just give me the address, I'll bring the bourbon. If they let that into mental institutions
I think I'm pregnant again.
or as we call it, thursday.
I'm a lady. Ladies do NOT hump the floor.
someone commented on last weekends photos impressed that so many homeless people wanted to take pictures with us. weird that those "homeless people" are our friends... right?
Randomize