you kept yelling something about watching the muppets chirstmas carol and trying to turn the t.v. on with your car keys
i just farted in the library and heard some girl yell it was sulfur gas. can. not. move.
We learned about herpes today in bio. I might as well have given the lecture
I envy you so much. I get girls who pee on my floor and you get girls who leave in the middle of the night
she just made some guy spank her... then made some chick take a running start and spank her.
She's popping painkillers like they're tic tacs and singing the soundtrack to dreamgirls. It's you're turn to babysit her.
Can we talk about the fact that I plucked weed off your ass this morning like it's a normal thing to do?
Curled up in the fetal position, trying not to throw up or think about my future, and humming songs from musicals to myself. You?
Well I'm currently debating between getting toilet paper or getting my eyebrows waxed so... There's that
Is this helping you get pumped up or am I going to have to send you more dick pics?
i wish i could tell my students that all of their lessons plans were brought to them by captain morgan and diet coke. it's like seasame street, only for high schoolers being taught by a student teacher.
How many fucks given?
0.12846
Just had a smooth transition from sexting to buffalo chicken dip 😂😂😂
Your skills amaze me
We just had a contest for who has less of a gag reflex...I am sad to admit that my mother won.
one of my students asked me today if i was having a baby. fuckin 4 year olds and their lack of filter. time to get back to the gym i guess
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