some 7 year old just told me his favorite rapper was eminem and kim got what she deserved...god damn today's youth is in a dark period
the boobs are fake... i feel like i just found out santa isn't real.
I'm not sure if what i'm hearing downstairs is sex or not, but if it is, it sounds like there's a dog involved...i'm mildly concerned.
Awww, you two will make beautiful abortions together...
i jus dunped the rest of my drink down the sink and tool my bra off. pretty sure this is the best decision for everybody.
Who faxed a picture of their penis to the office printer?!
I have bruises on my ass from her spurs. God bless Texas.
Jail wasn't bad. Was poppin Xanax the whole way there
I don't think it counts as a walk of shame when it's someone you've wanted for 4 years. That's mission accomplished.
I will blow you tomorrow if you bring me food tonight. Like a payment plan
"Wine night with the girls" turned into me having to set an alarm in the bathtub this morning...
Not going to lie: not even the fact I'm wearing men's cargo pants can hide the fact I have an awesome ass.
I'm dedicating this beer to drunk texting
I'm tryna think of an appropriate time to say "when I suck other dicks they seem like training dicks compared to yours" but I really can't think of a good way to say that
Accidentally made a straight guy question his sexuality again. I really gotta watch myself.
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