I just masturbated at work. Does that make me a prostitute since i just technically got paid to have sex?
It's pretty bad when the convenient store clerk can tell you that you're earlier than usual for visiting the store.
just walked into the room and her sister said loudly, "do him, or I will."
I'm looking at pot farms on google earth. Google should be proud I found a real purpose for it to serve.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
suddenly, hermaphrodite night sounds like a really bad idea
the tow truck driver and i bonded while discussing our experiences with four lokos
Have you ever tried running while drinking 151?
Did you know that if you hit someone in the head with a frozen loaf of bread you can knock them unconscious?
Let's get one thing straight; we aren't in a relationship. We fuck and occasionally go to subway.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He brought her home and fucked her in a gingerbread man costume in a cardboard rapunzel castle. He had a pretty good night.
I replaced his Viagra pills with sleeping pills.
We're going to party like we don't have spanx on
Your ability to whip out your dick and take a pic anytime I text you is startling.
He and I are in a competition of who can sleep with the most people at work. We're tied at two. I could win this if they'd stop hiring damn straight girls.
I remember is someone saying "I smell weed" and then having a room full of sober high school kids look at me.
Randomize