someone get that fucking seahorse.
it's like there's an entire ecosystem in your vagina.
I'm drinking reisling in a paper cup by myself in the garage.
I'm on page 4.
Im on beer infinity
Dude its 315 and I'm sitting here eating slices of cheese. Don't talk to me about tomorrow.
I'm thinking I had intended to send you pics cuz I woke up naked
Am I undercharging for one hour of sex per essay? I need a serious business answer.
Sneezing blood is a good thing right? Medically speaking.
With the drought our water bill is skyrocketing. No more shower sex, masturbating, or pretending to be under a water fall after smoking a blunt.
Pretty sure i brought my phone charger to a booty call
It was bitter sweet because I woke him up with sex but then I peed in his bed with him in it
See, remember when you wanted to get an Ashley Madison account and I told you not to and you hated me? You. Are. Welcome.
i now regret my decision on turning down your offer of sex in the backseat
Judging from the sharpie on my face, glitter on my chest and women's tiger print panties i'm wearing last night was a thing.
He saw my Halloween/ Costume closet and assumed I’m into cosplay. I’m going with it. What’s sexier, a cop or a nurse?
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