We have sex, then he cooks. It's like a fantasy.
I'm masturbating to football. This is why I get guys and you don't
like when he blacked out and we found him in the garden eating your tomatoes off the vine
I don't know what's worse: going to the liquor store at 9am or knowing that its open at 9am
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Can you give me a hickey quick? Im going to a white trash themed party. Completely serious
I have been way too involved with your nipples this weekend
College is the ONLY place where you can pass off morning sickness as being hungover. I'm currently pouring beer in a spray bottle so I can spray it on myself and smell drunk.
when you wake up in a apartment hallway wearing someone else's shoes, you can pretty much assume last night was a success.
I'm scared to see what happens if we keep winning like this. I don't think there enough livers for every one after the season is over.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That basically sounds like the worst party of my life, and I'm including my brother's World of Warcraft themed birthday party.
This heat and humidity do not mix with these braless DDs and a tank top at a BBQ.
You puked on yourself, then demanded to take shower. In which you kept saying "its raining"
So, got kind of drunk last night, made out with some guy, and somehow stole his credit card. Don't even know.
i had every intention of working out now im just drinking wine and thinking about taking nudes in my thigh high tube socks
That's why my boobs are so big, they're full of secrets.
Randomize