i dont nkow, theres a guy slesping next to me and im wearing 8 tsthirts? wtf happened last night? will you come get me.
i think im in thre room next to you
So apparently vaginal secretions are not covered under water damage insurance for my cell phone
Can you confirm that Victor fucked a girl for Jack in the Box tacos?
I cannot, but I know he fucked a girl for a Nerf hoop and a "Kingpin" dvd.
I don't remember. I remember laying in the trunk of a car. For hours.
Something about getting head on stairs. I don't know.
We JUST got rid of the new years fatties at my gym and now the spring break fatties are here. goddamn.
there seems to be a considerable amount of hair missing from my left hand. i may have lit it on fire again
When did you hit me on the head with a stool?
I love flavors. My neighbour is owide smoking and so am I. I'm adio boooooored and I need an adult.
So were u tired or drunk when u wrote last night's text message?
pills.
Oh my god I forgot there were Band-Aids on my nipples
Hey ask him if he likes swappy seconds
I'm dangerously close to tossing this whole "morals" bullshit and swan-diving into the fuckboy lifestyle.
Anyone who does not consider cereal and wine as a balanced breakfast needs to leave immediately.
I just realized that this is the first time I've ever seen your mom without sucking your cock.
Is there any reason why a taxidermic donkey head is in the shower?
Randomize
