You told the cops that they couldn't arrest you because they weren't hot enough to fuck
At dinner I grabbed his hand and he screamed "mom she just grabbed my penis" the proceeded to shove my hand down his pants! Hello Mr.Dick!
not sure what to think.... picked her up and her dad says "if you take her home, you'll regret it"
The bartender just asked me if I owned stock in Jameson. I've been here for less than an hour and he's already judging me.
I'm at the point in my life where I'm trying to get guys I've fucked to give a ride to guys I'm going to fuck.
i left because you were standing at the top of the stairs throwing shot glasses and bottles full of alcohol at me and yelling JAGERBOMBS
They should just send me home - I'm literally doing nothing but watching porn and listening to pandora.
Yeah we do. It needs to be like a good penis- long, substancial, and able to make people cry.
All his ex-girlfriends are delicate flowers, tho. And I'm like a trash compactor.
I wouldn't worry about it. You know what they say, THICK THIGHS MAKE THE DICK RISE.
IT WAS JUST SO LITTLE AND AWKWARDLY FLOPPING BACK AND FORTH
Okay, yeah, judgmental guy at 7/11. I'm buying g wine at 10:20 in the morning. You wanna fight about it?
I think I'm dead. Also I think I stole $20 from a stripper.
You did. Then gave it to me.
So if i am talking to a guy and he sends me a pic and he is wearing Spiderman button down dress shirt.... Is it ok if i dont want to talk to him anymore?
Nana added me on facebook...i think i'll have to call her and warn her about my lifestyle before i confirm her as a friend.
wait you like me?? for my personality??
I know I was surprised too
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