she said i have a nice penis, i told her only bob saget and god could judge that.
I am totally the chick from Intervention who barfs up wine and then re-eats it.
my hot student got the clitoris wrong on the lab practical...so it kinda makes me not want to pursue it
just because he can't find it on a cat, doesn't mean he can't find it on you
when my professor asked "does anyone know what streches across south america" and a kid in the back row said "my exgirfriends vagina" i knew i was at home.
Also just realized how inappropriate it looks to other drivers to finish bottles of cheap champagne at stoplights
Transgendered man at work dawning a slutty batman costume. I hate Halloween
I just negotiated a blow job for an interview.
Eventually the creepy theater major quirks will come out. Probably in bed. Like role playing as the Phantom of the Opera
I poured everyones drinks into the ice bucket and then stuck my face in it. Apparently I'm a greedy drunk.
If my penis could make facial expressions, it would constantly have a smile on.
i was sitting in the back of a squad car completely stoned watching airplanes take off
Can you tell dad to stop liking and sharing porn on FB again?
We just catapulted a jelly bean off of his hard dick into his mouth.......Happy Easter!
He told me I had smoking hot areolas then he wins an executive of the year award. How does that even happen?
She was doing drunken zumba and screaming "FUCK YOU I HAVE MY OWN STYLE!" at the TV
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