my house keeper must think I'm a prostitute.
He chugged from a bottle of wine and then we had pretend sex
How do you have pretend sex?
It was bad...so it was pretend
sorry i walked in and ruined it, but i had to laugh she looked like a pile of bologna the way you had her pinned up on the wall
i tried to hook up with a mom and then her husband came with num chucks
I passed out and woke up with my pockets full of Lucky Charms cereal and chocolate coins. Another successful St Pattys Day.
A lesson I learned in the hospital....when you masturbate while attached to a heart monitor, it scares the nurses a lot.
I just sneezed and had an orgasam..THAT turned on
Saved By The Bell: The College Years had it waaaay wrong on that one.
I call it my summer of slut; except summer lasts from May until December. It's been incredibly successful
They wouldn't let me go to sleep at the police station while I was waiting to bail u out. YOU OWE ME
If I don't have carpet burn in the morning you aren't trying hard enough.
Why did this happen to me why did I have to meet him if I could go back in time I never would have grabbed his dick
I swear she is the Mary Poppins of drugs
Who brings a stripper home to ninja turtle bed sheets
Me and I got head
You shouted “im bobby labonte!” In the process of shoutgunning a beer. He said you were too redneck for him...
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