covered in glitter, my cheek hurts, and theres a handprint on my face. Would i do it again. Absolutly
David Carradine died? Should I be thinking about this 10 min before my interview?
Haha just ref him when they ask a questin about kung fu which they will since ur Asian
I just told my doc I would like to talk about my drinking problem, but that it would probably get in the way of my weekend plans.
Ikea night.
?
Insert tab A into swedish slot B
yah I made NO friends last night. at one point i think i replaced talking with spitting
last time i saw her she was begging the broken jukebox to play lady gaga.
Based on how hungover I feel today, it makes more sense that the bouncer didn't let me in to that bar.
My mom made me write an apology letter to all my family for hijacking the eggnog.
whatever, you made your decision to be a responsible student and where did it get you? a pushed back exam and no blowjob.
I've had 5 hours of sleep and I still smell like sex with the Colonel. I don't appreciate spontaneity.
Pregnancy has ruined porn for me. I can't watch a hot chick get it on without being jealous of her perfectly waxed shit. I can't even see my shit.
Last night at a party someone grabbed my ass so I just fucking punched them in the face then went home and ate a frozen pizza
I'm sitting here with a band aid on my labia, this is a first
I'm writing to thank you for your never ending commitment to my orgasms and also to apologize if any physical harm was done due to your impressive efforts. Hopefully the sex and post sex pizza made up for it.
I'm kind of pissed I'm not hungover, that means I could have totally drank more last night.
Randomize
