I like how you refer to peeing in the car as "super cute"
It was like a Michael Bay sized explosion located in my pussy.
i just want his dick, seriously i'm about to take trifiling lessons. we'll call my alter-ego blair and she will screw his brains out, girlfriend or not.
only if we run a train.
done.
btw my roommates send a round of applause to you and that guy you tried to fuck on our wall. Additionally they hope he got it in.
Sooo the theme of my 21st is rapidly becoming Gay Mexico
wait no I wore my bra home that morning. I stole someone's bra last night?
When he wears his hair down and sandals, he looks like Jesus. A Jesus I would fuck.
That's not what Jesus is for
Me, him and the recently stolen carpet walked down the road and into the strip club. We had to check the carpet with our coats, it didn't mind missing out too much, later the door guy at Subway held carpet during late night sandwich selection.
i swear i just dislocated a hip staying still
He has an accent when he types. I can *hear* the schnitzel. Especially when he's drunk.
making my breakfast out of the pot brownies we made last night. Safe to say it's time to go grocery shopping.
He better be a good lay, these underwear cost $50.
In other news, I just sneezed and almost shit myself. What is happening to my life??
... and this time i WILL NOT make out with anyone dressed as batman.
Randomize
