she has a miserable personality but its a good think you dont have sex with that
pussy has no personality
Amen to that
24 hour fitness called offering me a free trial stating that you referred them to me. I told them you have been taking pics of naked guys in the locker room and selling them online.
That's not a bad idea, actually...
consequently i now know what mace tastes like
your boyfriend is drunk and yelling to the bar that he loves his cats
it glows. i had to have it.
I don't know the quality of the hand jobs you've received in the past but it CLEARLY was not one from me
eggs and jello shots do not qualify as 'brunch'
Which genius got me a voicemail of myself puking?
He was kissing me at red light while his penis was in an aluminum beer bottle peeing..
I walked around with red solo cups on my feet, weeds tied around my neck and a tree in my hand
see that vagina ? that vagina means business
ugh i want to get waxed but I’m afraid. my vagina has had enough trauma this week, i don’t know if I can put her thru any more.
Took an adderall for the first time in a few weeks. Spent 45 minutes peeling an orange TO PERFECTION.
Do you remember coming over and asking for toast and then singing that yeah toast song very loudly while you were dropping my bread all over my kitchen?
However, pretty glad I spent the night puking on my car instead of fucking him. Then I'd REALLY be miserable.
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