my vagina has a 5:00 shadow
I'm high, and her 2,100 tagged pictures annoy me even MORE. I wish it had a google searchbar so I could type in "cleavage pics" to get to the point.
Double fisting Gray Goose bottles. We've officially ruined her.
Thinking about fake proposing to my gf just so the middle aged women next to us will buy us drinks
Its 6 am and me and the girl in the next apartment have been taking turns puking and yelling "never agaaaain" thru the walls.
Do you want the something i can tell my mom in ten year version or the you're gonna call me a whore but be proud version?
The kid in the park, who was on a leash I might add, looked at us and yelled "stranger danger" before hiding behind his dad
get ready to load up the weird cannon and blow a load of buck-wildness all over the place people
You were outside cuddling a rock singing Bohemian Rhapsody.
To give you an idea, there's a group upstairs trying to break down a door with their fists and heads.
I told her I was going to masterbate myself into a coma... We have another date on Thursday.
wtf I can't believe that bar tender told on me to my mom
Also he said my vagina was sculpted by gods so there must be some feelings here.
UHG. i just want to have hot lesbian sex and eat pizza with you.
I just tried to dye my pubic hair teal for her
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