Do you think the new Crest Whitestrips Advance Seal would stay on while I give him head? It would be great to knock out 2 things at once...
McDonalds has hash browns for only a quarter!....how many u want?
All of them
Jason Williams (yeah the ex-nets center...) drunkenly told me that, while drinking, I should take an ambien and a cialis before i go home...that will "give me a 25 minute window to have sex and then goto sleep before the bitch starts bothering me"....
so high i just made my own version of grilled cheese using toast and spray cheese
here comes the puke
You better be watching. There will be a POP quiz. Each correct answer gains you 5 more minutes of the sexual act of your choice
Please know that I fully expect you to help me steal a bed if I have a bad breakup.
I scrubbed the bathroom, smoked a bowl, and gave myself 3 orgasms. If the world ends today, I feel accomplished.
We found her on the trampoline. She told us she was jumping so she could puke & rally. I think I want to marry her.
Called Jeff last night and told him I wanted to have sex in the airport terminal. Blackout Brooke definitely came out last night.
We need to be on the same page regarding the 3some this time. No more "one of us should probably leave" moments.
If you've ever wondered what a shitshow is, just watch me at the bar on a Friday. Or Tuesday. Take your pick.
I found you in the bathroom. You were sitting cross-legged on the floor wearing nothing but socks completely surrounded by broken crayons.
40s are totally the cure
You're only young once, and once you get old, you either regret all the sex you had, or you regret not having enough.
Help me help you realize you are a moron
Randomize
