Don't make out with my wife yet
and on the seventh day, God created megan fox
He slapped my ass and hummed the jello theme song, which was followed by an overly loud "IT'S ALIVE!"
Never eat 3 McGriddles and drink a carton of milk. It's like you're successfully killing self but you're alive.
The fact that I found him in his Ninja Turtles t-shirt next to six empty and obviously consumed packs of EasyMac watching reruns of Becker certainly made telling him that I wanted a divorce so much easier than I had planned.
Rehydrating your liver back to life is never a good idea.
The same guy who pierced my nipples just told me he can help tutor me in precalc.
After some trial and error I found soaking my balls in maple syurip helps ease the pain.
Drunbk and roasting marshmallows on my stove. Accidentally singed the catr's fur but she'sd alright.
You are the only person I have ever seen offer your other drink to the bouncer on two fors night
Bouncers are people too...giant angry people
yeah, I don't think I'm getting into the baseball game tonight. The security guard definitely saw me bowl over that child.
Did you cry?
I don't think so. I definitely lost my cool though
Yeah i think jesus would lose his cool in that situation
also i don't know what you guys ate last night but he broke the toilet
I knew you were on something when you said you were a puppy and you ate all the frosty Paws dog ice cream which says not for human consumption right on the side of it.
Her pegging playlist is all heavy metal so stay away if you wanna keep your ass intact
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