I just found out she jerks off to lesbian porn too honest to god
you wouldn't believe how perfect a match this is its scary
ur dog is so gonna tell on us one day.
for doing what?
for smoking bowls out on the deck while your parents aren't home.
my sex list reads like a who's who of mcdonald's general managers
I called the bar to ask if they found my Id and credit card and they remembered me as 'the girl who signed her receipt in blood'
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
your idea of a balenced meal is a microwave frozen burrito, a cup of ramen noodles, and a can of budlight. honestly tell me how your resolution is to lose weight,
i just burped and it tasted like condom. please tell me i wasn't lame and made that guy wear one for a bj last night.
I made out with him with my retainers in. My drunken hook-ups get lazier and lazier.
When this bachelor party is over and your life is in ruins, you have my permission to die.
This guy is clearly nuts his idea of a hangover cure is a six pack poured into a camelpack then hiking 3 miles with a weighted vest. He said "learned it in the army i guess drink beer beat the heat"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
dude, I convinced you I was your conscience for like 15 minutes last night. you weren't just "a little high"
Random question: Have you ever woken up and were suprised to not have a penis?
So I'll be starting a scrapbook from all the mugshots of the guys I've slept with
Just woke up to find that I'd left a stove burner on for the past 6 hours or so. I'm now banned from Ambien cooking.
orgy was averted by karaoke, thank god
Update: I just threw up in between cars in the parking lot of magic kingdom.
Randomize