i bet jesus would rush if he went to usc
Apparently throwing up on his dick didnt convince him to stay away . . . whats the most indirect way of saying "im just going to continue avoiding you"?
If he doesn't notice me by the next party, i'm just gonna go up to him and pll his pants down and blow him.
Sounds like a plan.
"Does your mom know how big your cock is?" Worst dirty talk I've ever had.
I'm someone's dream girl. I'm hungover in this guy's bed wearing ONLY a Brian Westbrook jersey. Not the same I was on a date with last night.
I had fun this weekend too. According to Web MD, my symptoms say I had a miscarriage.
I still have a scar from the last time she gave me a handjob. There is NO WAY i'll stick my dick anywhere near her again
If this nail lady pinches my achilles one more time im kicking her directly in her bedazzled boobs
My mom just found my nipple clamps...... oh God why....
She deserves a chance to suck my penis. This is America. Its her God given right.
So there I was, eye fucking the waiter and I spilled beer all down my boobs
He brought over a bottle of tequila and a box of donuts with the Plan B, so I guess you could say things are getting pretty serious.
He stopped me in the middle of a blow job to call his grandma for her birthday.
At least he has family values.
Why is there cereal literally EVERYWHERE?
It didn't follow directions.
I swear to god, if you ever yell my name during sex with my sister again..your balls will be stapled to your nipples.
Randomize