it's just weird having a massive boner in the morning when you could have used it the night before.
I cannot believe how calm you were last night about telling Katie she was on fire.
they're mlb prospects.. of course i'm gonna bang one of them.
Dude, somewhere around here makes 4loko slushies. I just decided coming home isn't so bad.
Its ok we found him,,, He is in the bathroom trying to write his life story on a roll of toilet paper.
We are probably going to have to use your boobs as currency to get this done
I've done nothing but whore my gay ex bf out for the past 48 hours. It's getting weird.
Just so you know swallowing does not help chest colds. Your Phd can suck my dick
Just ate a whole pizza by myself. Wearing my indian headdress again. its really cool with the french braids. I look like fucking pocahontas or some shit.
Did you just say he wants to put a baby inside me?
Bake him heart shaped cookies?!? Send him a picture of your tits like an ADULT!
Just threw up in the MSO airport men's room. We're at that point this morning.
Your exhaustion is probably due to your rampant sexual urges and the fact that you live the same life as a raccoon.
so apparently last weekend we taught the mascot how to shotgun beers. am i winning college yet?
I'm hungover during 4th grade graduation practice. I AM THEIR FUTURE.
Randomize
