We were doing it doggy style, and I puked on the floor and started crying, he told me it was okay his cat would eat it... and if it would make me feel better we could do anal...
And they lived happily ever after....
his dad told me thanks for making his little boy a man at breakfast this morning
Dude i have a 6th sense for when bagel bites are ready.
Ever since I discovered that youporn works on blackberry, my brickbreaker skills have gone to shit
smoking a cig and getting head on the last night of my cruise. and she doesn't mind that i'm texting you right now. this is now on my list of top 10 nights of my life.
Where are you and who are these girls passed out on the floor?
and why are they spooning a flamingo?
they traded weed for a spot on our floor. be nice.
What's great about college is that i can eat chocolate cereal for every meal and call it a money saving technique.
If that's all it takes to cure your hangovers then you need to drink more.
The sad thing was my husband told her its ok to make out with me. Bar Tuesdays will live on regardless.
If we laid all the dicks that's have been inside of us end to end it would be as tall as 4 story building. 40 feet of dicks.
I'm sure nobody at Walmart was wondering why I was wearing a glittery tutu and needed $300 changed into small bills
Well, she chose the fuckboy life or the life chose her. Not sure which one but either way I don't need that negativity in my life.
At least you didn't have a hemorroid rupture while banging
Yeah so then I used the selfie stick his mom gave me to take nudes
I'm pretty sure the rest of my evening will consist of masturbating, drinking tequila and watching children's movies.
Randomize
