when you get a chance can you look up 'free abortion clinic' for me? cuz i dont think i'll be lucky enough for a second miscarriage.
Ok I can't be your drugdealer AND booty call AND friend. It just doesn't work that way
sorry for covering your dog in whipped cream. his bark made it sound like he wanted it.
You insisted on take shots off of plates.
You know what my problem is? I'm like a machine designed for the sole intention of removing the pants from damaged girls.
Wake up, take the dog to the trails, puke in the woods. More days should start like this.
So aparently telling your roommate you're going to spoon them so hard in the public place of their employment is inappropriate
Basically, I'm sure one day I'll look back on this part of my life and be ashamed....
Still not sure if my open-bar-week-long-trip to Cuba is the best idea as a congratulations-for-my-sober-february-challenge. My liver might just explode and give up.
Im having a st. Get way fucked till i speak Irish pre game party. Bring a compass cause we are about to get lost
I've somehow found myself in an emotionally abusive relationship with a married man who gives me drugs.
My life is quickly turning into a Lifetime movie.
I'm pretty sure that our Lady and The Tramp Red Vine moment was the farthest I got last night
we're in NC now and so far we've smoked a blunt in every state with the exception of Tennessee which we accidentally went to
I should probably stop recommending my dentist to the different guys I'm seeing. That could be awkward in the future.
i'm drinking soco out of a mickey mouse cup right now. i love it when college and my childhood meet in the middle.
Randomize
